Monday, July 21, 2008

The Chinchillas
When Normal Music Just Isn't Enough


In the late seventies a group emerged whose mission it was to save the next generation from the evil influence of so called "Disco" music. Venice Beach California and Old Town Pasadena were the scenes of horrific concerts, coffee house and art fair gigs by the Chinchillas. After these musical incursions, polyester leisure suits and shirts with high collars covered with flowers were found cast off by the new discipleship of dulcimer music. The high heeled boots of the disco generation were replaced by the painful rock-hard souls of Birkenstock Sandals though some wore no shoes at all lounging about dizzied by the delirious drones of the Appalachian spell. Three champions emerged soon to swell their ranks to four then back to three and then four again, then three and then four once more or perhaps another time with three kind of like that Dave Mason thing with Traffic or Neil Young with CSN.

In a career swoop dotted with pop-psychology experimentation, bad feng shui and numerous success /failure fluctuations reminiscent of Beethoven's early years, The Chinchillas pulled themselves from the muck of postmodern anti-culture to rise into sub-sub-cult status; ironic only because they had no followers of any consequence except for Delvin the Friendless, who played the flute badly in the front row during performances annoying everyone.

A move to Northern California brought a short respite from the pressures of stardom and a return to the simple life of Internet surfing and cable TV. The early 00's saw a resurgence in a desperate hope that somebody might care to listen and despite evidence to contrary The Chinchillas began work on a new release. Anyone lucky enough to be forewarned will be forearmed at the fantabulous forearms of these flailing first-rate geniuses of that gentle genre, these innovators, These Chinchillas!

A few highlights of a lustrous career:

During one memorable concert for a high security prison, the thieves and murderers were difficult to control and shouted obscenities. The audience on the other hand, was mostly quiet and were very receptive.


While on the "Rancho Cucamonga Tour" (so called because the tour consisted of a birthday party for a 92 year old retired lesbian nun and a stop on the way home at the Rancho Cucamonga Bar and Grill; the band didn't eat) the Band was struck dumb unable to speak for hours or maybe it was just an alcoholic stupor, anyway it lasted hours.


During a party-gig for a well-to-do socialite millionaire the band was nonplussed to find the newest member of the group, Nigel, had eaten every shard of food in the house before the guests arrived. The band used all the profit and then some from the gig to buy Ding-Dongs and Twinkies for the several hundred guests. Albeit they were proud to add a sense of bohemian ambiance to an otherwise sullen soiree.


(words that are bold-ed above are very slick! Try to fit them into your vocabulary so you will be thought of as "cool," some people need that!)*

*(you're welcome)

CG 2008


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